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“Look, kid. I know it seems hopeless. I know it even seems a little bit cruel to raise you as a Leafs fan. I know that whenever you see Daddy thinking about the Leafs he’s making angry faces and muttering mean words and drinking from one of his special grownup bottles.
But here’s the thing, son: Some day, the Leafs are going to win the Stanley Cup. It won’t happen this year, or the next, or even the one after that. But it will happen one day. And when that day arrives, all the near misses and the lost seasons and the jokes and the blown calls and the sleepless nights will just make it all that much sweeter.
When that moment comes, some day a very long time from now, you’re going to appreciate it in a way that only a true fan can. Because you’ll have earned it.”
That’s why you’re going to be a Leaf fan, son, whether you like it or not. But if those nice folks from Children Services ask, you chose this of your own free will, OK?
Now let’s go get you changed. I think somebody made a Toskala in his diaper.
This applies to being a South Carolina Gamecocks fan as well. Maybe not so much in the last year, but every year before that though.